Sunday, 24 February 2013

Flat-Pack Record Collection

I seem to remember that when I bought my Expedit shelving at IKEA, the assembly instructions warned against overloading the shelves. IKEA's own website states that the maximum load per shelf should not exceed 13kg. I reckon that a foot-and-a-bit of vinyl weighs significantly more than that: somewhere in the region of 20 kilos in my estimation. Funny then that IKEA are pursuing those vinyl heads who haven't yet discovered Expedit shelving for themselves with some keenly targeted advertising which seems to ignore their own warnings.

Shelves by IKEA, cardigan by his Gran

Does this mean that when my shelves collapse, destroying my priceless record collection, that it will be IKEA's fault, not mine for ignoring the maximum load warning? Perhaps Record Collector magazine will soon feature adverts for lawyers offering DJs and crate diggers a no-win-no-fee suit against IKEA for mis-selling of their flat pack furniture. After all, the PPI lawyers are going to need to find another ambulance to chase before too long.

The internet is full of photos of record collections housed in Expedit shelving. Amongst them are a few which look like they've been on the business end of a wrecking ball. I take some comfort from the fact that all of these collapsed shelves appear to have been owned by unfortunates who failed to decipher IKEA's assembly hieroglyphics and stood their shelves up the wrong way, allowing the full weight of their precious vinyl to bear down, not on the shelves themselves, but on the tiny bits of dowling holding the shelves' dividers in place - the record collecting equivalent of sawing through a tree branch while you're sitting on it.

The one occasion when having a shit turntable paid off.

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